looking back through all my old posts and seeing how much i've changed.

 OMG
-omg
OMG
so i sound like a whiny bitch  .
and like always 
i have bad timing. 

on the flip side. 
there is no flip side. 

i am soo drowning in my school work and anything else i could consider work.
i've never voluntarily been so available to busy-ness. 
-i want to be busy.
-i want to not have any time to think about anything else except what i'm doing at that very moment.
-i want to be able to share opinions with my mom, actually take advice from my mom, have an actual relationship with my mom, have my mom's support in more things that school, make my automatic response to her questions a little less defensive, get her trust back. 
-i want to say 'hi' to my dad and have him say it back and then i'll say 'how was work?' and he'll say how his work was and i want him to say 'how was school' and i want to be able to give him a response that isn't anything like 'ok' or 'fine' and i want to make him laugh.
...one day...
-i want to fix my computer for more reasons than the one thats not a reason anymore
-i want to actually check off everything in a checklist [this checklist] for once in my life.
-i want to get a job 
-i want to get a job
-i want to get a job
-i want self content for more than 4 hours in a day , preferably a whole entire day.
-i want to stop avoiding things
-i want to avoid going back again
(completely contradicting myself but makes sense to me)
-i want to stop waiting for calls, staring at the fone for calls, constantly making calls when i know i shouldn't, hoping for a call even though i took an hour to get myself to not pick up, and overall just not make as many calls. 
-i want to eventually not need a livejournal. 
-I want to pee.
kbye.

GETTING PERMIT.
APPLYING FOR JOBS.
hopefully target.
thankyouRICKY.
practice. from 1-whenever.

then me and lyn are going to make one SICK slow motion video.


i've got my bathing suit in my purse if ever. anyone. wants to go swiimming kayyy?
yea. i think i'm ready for the day. :)

ilu.

http://www.collegeboard.com/csearch/majors_careers/profiles/careers/105738.html

:) 

so this is where i start yea? 

 I spend my days thinking about games to play with the boys. And how much I dread school starting again. When's the next time I'm gonna get to sit and read Mitch Album. And when that bonfires gonna be. Or where I should apply for a job.

But that's better than before. 

I wonder about all the people who ever wrote a love song foor someone special.
& if their someone special was as amazing as you.
& if the had to go through hard times.
& if they ended up happy.
I wish i had their talent.
Their way with words and the keys on the piano.
Because you don't deserve my letters on a ripped out sheet of notebook paper.
You deserve some song. with your name in it
playing on the radio.

So people can wonder about you
& if you're as amazing as i say
& if we really came through with all the hard times.
& if we're still happy.

so now ima have to start fresh .
again.

=)
let's start with my hairrr.

I was looking my old journal. From when I used to write alot.
      I was pretty awesome.

My family is baby sitting my auntie's dog. She's swell. .  I want a black cat. I want to name her something spectacular. So I can ride around in one of those old-school bikes, with her in a basket. Down the beach. With a flowy dress. and a big hat.


And life would be so great.